Anonymous asked: I hope this doesn't come off shitty but what's wrong with your face? I think you're really pretty. Is it just a dysphoria thing where you see things other people don't? Because I was like wow when you posted those pics a couple weeks ago.
i read the first sentence of this ask and was like ‘damn, you post one selfie and you get rekt’
Since yr on anon, I really don’t exactly know what way you mean this. When I’ve talked w cis people before abt FFS (or even just transitioning generally) I’ve gotten feedback like “You think you need face surgery??” and like sometimes even just like “but you’re already so cute/pretty/whatever, why would you need to transition?” At the same time, I think a lot of trans people see someone who is also trans do these sorts of actions, and since they have invested themselves into seeing other trans people as like ‘goals’ or whatever, or have different approaches to transition, they have a hard time understanding.
So like, this is actually pretty germane to my entire process of trying to get authorization for this surgery: insurance companies consider this 'not medically necessary’ because it is just meant to 'improve appearance’ (ie. make you hotter/prettier). But I think that the problem here is seeing transition as being about trying to “look better”; for trans women, this is even to a certain extent informed by the idea that the purpose of our transition is to look more attractive. To a certain extent, it’s basically just tied w the idea that womanhood is commensurate w being attractive.
But that’s not how gender or dysphoria works, in my experience. I think that just like how passability and conventional attractiveness aren’t the same thing, like body image and like the affect I am going to simplify as 'dysphoria’ are not the same thing. I am fully comfortable w the process of FFS potentially making me less conventionally attractive, because it will address some of the issues that I feel like make me feel dysphoric, as well as traits that are sometimes seen as 'tells’ of my previous androgenic puberty.
My transition hasn’t really been driven by trying to be more attractive, but less physically 'masculine’. I debated FFS even before I identified as a woman, and that would definitely have been a process that would have made me less conventionally attractive wrt my gender. Knowing that I might v well identify a different way in the future, I still want to get this surgery for my own personal desired embodiment, even if I know it will make me less attractive within gay identity!
I also have had to think this thru quite a bit. Like, thinking back on my life, I can acknowledge that as far as conventional attractiveness goes, I was a much more attractive young man (and would have made a more attractive man) than I am a conventionally attractive woman. If I had wanted to like live my life as a way of maximizing my hotness, I would have done different things. Which isn’t really about regret at all! it’s just different priorities. To a certain extent even after all my process, i still think I am more attractive if I’m being judged against men than if being judged against women (maybe that’s just my own feelings of most men being unattractive), but either way I’m in a pretty niche space.
So i think the problem here is that transition really doesn’t have to be about 'looking good’. That’s a major reason why I can argue that it’s medically necessary in a way that say… getting a rhinoplasty wouldn’t really be for me. I certainly still have body image issues, but those are functioning in a somewhat different plane than like wanting to change my body to be more androgynous/feminine. After all, I still want people to think I’m a woman (or at least, not a man [under most circumstances, lol]), regardless of whether I want them to find me hot.
I hope this helps kinda illuminate what my process and like disposition towards these sorts of things is kinda like!
(Source: margautshorjian, via teacup-herbologist)
(Source: everydaymoebius, via everydaymoebius)
‘pegging’ is the only sex act i can think of where the gender of the person performing it is an inherent part of the actual term for the sex act and it was all to protect str8 men’s masculinity/heterosexuality lol
Broke: haha AI will be super-powerful and you will have no choice but to submit to its natural authority.
Woke: AI will mirror the foibles of the humans who created it and will re-enact our failures.
(via t4t4t)
